


It's gonna be ok (engl.)

by JuliHeart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Best Friends, Cutting, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Maybe More Than Friends, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29374218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliHeart/pseuds/JuliHeart
Summary: Actually, I just felt a little bit unwell that day, so I stayed home.I could've used that to get some rest, relax, or do something else. Everything could've been fine...if it wasn't for these voices in my head. These thoughts.And then I cut deeper than intended.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	It's gonna be ok (engl.)

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [It's gonna be ok (ger.)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23015422) by [JuliHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliHeart/pseuds/JuliHeart). 



> German version ☆ ↑
> 
> This is my translated version of my own story:  
> It's pretty probably not perfect, but I tried my very best and I hope it's ok. (｡•́︿•̀｡)♡
> 
> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> READ THE TAGS FOR CONTENT WARNINGS!

**_Oikawa_** :

All of a sudden I can feel a soft, hardly noticeable - and yet indescribably pleasant - warmth on my icy skin. It crawls its way over my left forearm, flowing down the sides, first slowly, then faster - as it gets steeper - leaving a crimson trail. I can feel the goosebumps creeping over my skin and a tender smile is forming on my face,... but my lips are trembling and my cheeks are wet from the salty water that mercilessly continues to drip out of my chocolate-brown eyes.

And then, suddenly, reality hits me like a truck, as I begin to realize what I've just done. I begin to tremble violently. The sharp pain of the open wounds begins to cloud my senses.

**_Iwaizumi_** :

Every few minutes my eyes fly, nervously, back to the clock on the wall, _begging_ that the lesson will soon come to an end. I stare at the second hand, which moves forward - like it should - and yet seems to be so painfully slow. It almost feels as if it wants to torture me. It occupies all my attention and so I don't notice how our teacher has been staring at me for quite some time until he finally snaps and slams his open palm onto my desk. " _Iwaizumi!_ "

I flinch violently. My gaze immediately racing towards the teacher.

" _Iwaizumi_ , where are your thoughts? Concentrate!"

I swallow.

Where my thoughts are?

I'm thinking about my best friend, Oikawa Tooru. About his phone call this morning when he told me he isn't feeling too well and would rather stay home. About the conversation we had yesterday, where he told me that his parents were going away that night and wouldn't be back for a week. About his sad, empty looking brown eyes, that I can't help but notice. And about his smile that disappears the second he feels unobserved.

I breathe in and out, calmly, and then get up from my chair. "I'm sorry Sensei. I have to go now."

"What did you say?"

Before he could even react, I walked right past him and put on my jacket in the meantime. My heart starts beating faster. I feel tense. In the background I can hear the whispers of my confused classmates.

" _Iwaizumi!_ What are you doing? Where do you think you're going?"

I can hear Sensei running after me. His voice is loud, angry, a little irritated. I stop, turn around and bow to him in a quick motion. "Please excuse me. I'll explain everything tomorrow." And with these words said I leave the classroom. In the hallway I start jogging and as soon as I've taken the first step out of the school building I start running.

_Please Oikawa. Please,... be alright._

**_Oikawa_** :

I raise my head, - trembling - lean it against the tiled wall of the bathroom and stare blankly at the wall in front of me. My gaze is blurred by the tears that just won't stop falling. Lots of tiny black dots start dancing before my inner eyes. I'm freezing cold.

_Am I going to die now? Have I really overdone it this time?_

My gaze sinks and I stare down at my exposed arm. Many, _many_ fine cuts adorn my pale, red-painted skin. Some are very thin, others deep and ugly.

_I didn't want this. This wasn't my intention!_

I gasp for air, choke on my own spit and start coughing, pressing my arms against my clothed chest. It feels as if they're on fire. Every cut, every wound is burning on my skin. Everything _hurts_.

_Make it stop! Please! Please! Stop the bleeding! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!_

**_Iwaizumi_** :

The muscles in my legs are burning, but I still won't stop running. My lungs hurt from the lack of oxygen. But I won't stop. I _can't_. I keep running. Mercilessly. I stare straight ahead, my final destination never leaving my thoughts. There's his house!

For a moment a small smile of relief flits over my features. I gather all my strength and keep running until I finally stand at his front door. Not even hesitating for a second, I ring the doorbell and start knocking directly afterwards. " _Oikawa!_ "

The world before my eyes is slowly spinning because of my long sprint. I'm still gasping for air while my heart races restlessly in my chest.

" _Hey Shittykawa, open the damn door!_ "

My legs are shaking. I start pounding on the door with my fists, then wait for a short moment. Nothing. Not a single sound comes from inside. _Is he asleep?_ I take a few steps back and look up at the window of Oikawa's room on the second floor. It's slightly opened. My gaze wanders towards the tree next to me. The big, strong tree in his front yard that we had climbed so often in our childhood.

My eyes scan its trunk and branches, then move back to the window. I take a deep breath and walk a few careful, slow steps towards the tree.

I hesitate for a moment, but then finally reach for the first branch closest to me. Breathing slowly I pull myself up, using my feet as support on the rough bark. Then I reach further up, get hold of the next branch, then the next one and another one. Again my gaze wanders to his window, which seems to be much closer than I remembered. His room seems to be empty. There's no trace of my best friend. _So he's not sleeping._

_He'd better not have lied to me this morning. If I find out that he's skipping school, then-..._

Carefully I step on a smaller branch, testing to see if it'd be able to carry my weight and then start to move - very slowly - towards the window. When it finally comes within reach I push it further open and enter the house.

Again I can feel my pulse accelerating. _Why do I feel like a burglar right now..._

"Oikawa?", I look around the room. The bed is a total mess, bedsheets all over the place, notebooks are lying opened on his desk. I walk over to the door and open it. The corridor is illuminated by the warm yellowish light of the setting sun. Otherwise everything's dark.

"Hey, are you home?"

I feel totally stupid. What am I actually doing here? Not only did I leave class early and annoyed our teacher, but I also ran here like a madman and then broke into my best friend's house through the window. And I did all this even though Oikawa is probably just skipping school and now-

When I turn around I notice that the light in the bathroom is on. "Oikawa? Are you in the bathroom?", slowly I sneak towards the door. It isn't locked. Holding my breath I try to hear for some noise, and to be completely honest, I feel a little strange about peeping on my best friend while he's - probably - in the bathroom.

Then, suddenly I can hear a faint sob from inside the room. My whole body goes stiff and without thinking about it any further, I reach for the door handle and open the door. " _Oikawa!_ " My olive-green eyes search through the room until they finally find what I'm looking for.

For a short moment I forget how to breathe and feel my heart stopping. In the next moment however, my legs begin to move and I rush towards my friend who's lying in a small puddle of his own blood.

" _Oh shit, Oikawa! What have you done?_ " I get on my knees and stare down at him with widened eyes. My whole body starts to tremble.

Oikawa lies on his side, his back pressed against the cold tile wall, his arms lying limply in front of him. Smeared with blood, covered with cuts. Like a statue, unable to move, I watch the light - too light - rising and sinking of his chest. I feel sick.

" _Iwa-chan_..."

I flinch briefly hearing my nickname. " _Oikawa!_ Can you hear me? How are you?" My head's spinning. _What should I do?_ My gaze wanders frantically through the room, getting stuck at the sight of a towel. I reach for it immediately and start binding it tightly around Oikawa's wounds. It immediately soaks up the blood and colours the - previously white - fabric red. "One more...", I murmure softly to myself as I search the floor. I find a second towel. Next to it is a small, thin, metallic object with Oikawa's blood on it's sharp edge. I feel myself getting sicker, but I pull myself together, grab the towel and tie it around the other, then I carefully turn Oikawa on his back. Now I can finally see his face.

His usually so perfectly styled brown curls fall messily into his forehead, his cheeks are shiny from the wetness of his tears and his beautiful, brown eyes have turned red and puffy. I move my trembling hands towards him and stroke back some hair that fell into his face. "Shit, Oikawa..." I whisper, gently caressing his cheek. New tears start running from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Iwa-chan. Please help me. _Hajime_!"

He, too, is trembling, breathes lightly through his half-open mouth. I nod. "Okay. I'll help you."

His eyes look up at me. They look so sad, it tears my heart apart. "I'll be right back. Don't fall asleep, okay?"

Getting a tentative nod in response I get up to leave the bathroom rushing straight to the living room. I take another deep breath to calm myself down before reaching for the telephone and dialing the emergency number.

**"Hello, Miyagi emergency call center. How can I help you?"**

I can feel my heart beating firmly in my chest. I'm scared. "I'm at a friend's house, and he tried to kill himself. Please, I really need help!"

**"Okay, stay calm. Tell me where your friend lives and what exactly your friend did."**

The calm voice on the other end of the line gives me the feeling of security. I try to calm my breath to get some more clarity into my head. "My friend lives on *** street in ***. He- he cu-"

A lump forms in my throat when I think of Oikawa's bloodstained arm again. The image is burned into my inner eye. The deep wounds, all that blood. On his body, on his clothes, on the floor. _Blood, so much blood!_ It makes me sick to my stomach.

**"It's all right, help is on the way. Try to take some deeper breaths. Very slowly. Inhale and exhale."**

I listen to their calm words. My body trembles when trying to breathe in. _I have to pull myself together! For Oikawa!_ "He cut his arm open. He's lost quite a bit of blood and I don't know for how long he's been lying there."

 **"It's alright."** Repeats the voice again at the other end. **"First try to find something to stop the bleeding."**

"I already have." I answer, sighing in relief. Good thing I thought of that already. "I bandaged his arm with two towels. It was the first thing I found in a hurry."

I hear the calm voice exhaling. **"You've done well. Hold on a little longer, the ambulance should arrive soon. Go and open up the front door and then stay with your friend. Don't let him fall asleep, under any circumstances. Do you understand?"**

I start nodding, even though I know that the other person cannot see it. "Yes. Thank you very much."

With the permission of the person from the emergency call center, I hang up and start doing what I was told to do. I open the front door so that the paramedics can come right in later and before I go back into the bathroom I grab a small bottle of water.

"Oikawa?" I ask, stepping into the small white room and look down to my best friend. He hasn't moved an inch since I left. Eyes half-closed. I slowly kneel in front of him. "Don't fall asleep, ok? Leave your eyes open. Please Oikawa. For me. Can you do that?" I get a small, barely noticeable nod in response and gently wipe some tears from his cheeks. "Come on, try to sit up again. You really need to drink something." I say while stroking gently over his shoulder.

" _I- I can't Iwa-chan_." His voice is soft, fragile, probably because of the pain. Maybe, also from the fatigue from his high blood loss.

_Please, oh please let the ambulance arrive in time!_

"You can do it. _I know you can._ You're a fighter, Oikawa!", grabbing him under his armpits I carefully lift him up. "Come on. Let me help you." He nods and helps me as good as his weakened body allows it. I lean him carefully against the tile wall, look into his brown eyes and smile gently at him.

I don't even know how I am able to smile in this situation. My heart is racing in my chest, my hands are shaking and I'm scared. So _incredibly, indescribably scared_ , of losing him at any moment.

"Everything will be fine. Help is already on the way. They'll be right here, I _promise_!" I reach for the bottle I had taken with me and unscrew the cap. "Here drink something." I lift the bottle to his lips. With his right, not bandaged, hand he tries to reach for it himself, but trembles uncontrollably. Carefully grabbing his hand I pull it down into his lap and instead hold the bottle a little closer to his lips. "It's fine. Just drink."

He nods, drinks a few sips, takes a break to catch his breath - it takes a long time to do so - and then takes a few more slow sips. I close the bottle again and put it aside.

Now I also sit down on the floor, lean against the wall and pull Oikawa closer to me. Reach for his trembling hands. "Everything'll be all right. I promise. Please don't be scared. We'll make it. It's gonna be okay."

Gently, I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb in calming patterns, letting my other hand run through his brown curls - some of then sticky from his own blood. I can feel his body trembling against me as he buries his face into my shoulder and begins to cry again.

" _I-I am so sorry Hajime. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me_."

Irritated, I look at him, pulling him even closer to me. My shoulders are trembling and I feel a slight burn in my eyes as tears begin to form in them as well.

" _I love you, you idiot! Fucking Shittykawa!_ Everything will be fine. Everything will be alright. Help's coming. They'll be here soon. I'm sure they will."

I bury my face into his hair, inhaling the smell of his body which is so familiar to me.

" _Hajime_..."

Suddenly, I hear a loud noise coming from outside. _The ambulance!_

My heart starts beating faster, filled with sparks of new hope. Only a few moments later I can hear loud rumbling in the house and then the door to the bathroom opens. A young paramedic looks over at us, a reassuring smile on his lips.

I watch as Oikawa slowly lifts his head and looks over at the man. Leaning close to him I give him a short kiss on his temple, before I sit up straight again and start talking to the parametric. 

_Everything will be fine. You're save with me, Tooru._

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed my fic!  
> Please feel free to correct me if there are mistakes, or give me some feedback. That'd make me really happy. ♡


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